Face It, You're Obsessed With Kenshin!
by Songwind
Summary: Silly story. A girl's day pretending to be Kenshin, and her friends being Sano, Kaoru, etc. Please review, first RK fic!


Face It, You're Obsessed With Kenshin!  
By Songwind  
Notes- Um, I would have put this up as a list, but ff.net put out new rules and now apparently we're not supposed to post them anymore... (shrug) So I thought, why not write it as a story? I hope you like!  
DISCLAIMER- Sadly, I don't own the RK cast or Japan. If I owned either I'd be one of the richest (and/or happiest) people alive.  
  
One more thing- this is from the view of a FEMALE. A GIRL. Thank you.  
  
~*~  
  
Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep...  
  
CRASH!  
  
You sleepily lift your head from the pillow to check the damage on your alarm clock, and you're pleased to note that you only bashed the sleep button a little harder than was good for it. It would still work tomorrow. You lift your reverse-blade sword away from your alarm clock and sit up and stretch. Then you wince and turn on a nearby light.  
  
After getting used to the light, you get up and wander over to your closet to look at your clothes. You blink for a few minutes blankly at the clothing lined up, and after much thought you pull out a pink, long-sleeved shirt and white bellbottoms and some sandals. Then you pull yourself into these clothes and look thoughtfully into your mirror.  
  
"The dye's weaker, de gozaruyo," you observe quietly. Then you shrug, sling the sword over your shoulder, and saunter outside your room.  
  
In the dining room, you quietly try to get some breakfast together. You're just about to pour the milk into your cereal when there's a loud yell behind you.  
  
"ORO!?" you shout and duck, spilling the milk all over the place.  
  
A plastic cup hits the counter, and you're glad you ducked. You turn to look incredulously at your pain in the butt brother.   
  
"I will defeat all of the strong Imperialist scum!" he shouts at you, and reaches for the milk.  
  
"Maa, maa, calm down," you try to tell him. He ignores you.  
  
"You evil Imperialists! I, captain Sagara, will defeat you, who tried killing me! But I am alive, I tell you, alive!"   
  
With that, your brother races out of the room continuing to yell. You blink. "Oro?" you ask plaintively.  
  
Then, after a moment, you shrug and return to your cereal, which is slightly soggy from the milk that managed to get into the bowl. Oh well. You eat it.  
  
Later, you check your ponytail of dyed red hair as you enter your school. You sigh in relief; though you can't bring your sword, you managed to get by dressing like a certain Battousai again. Your mother gave you weird looks again, but she was just jealous.   
  
"KENSHIN!"  
  
"Oro?" You turn and look as a girl dressed in a kimono-like outfit with dyed blue hair runs up to you. "Kaoru-dono!" you exclaim.  
  
"To think I beat the great Battousai to school," she raves with enthusiasm.   
  
"Well, after studying the History-style, sessha felt like sleeping more," you say.  
  
She pokes you. "Don't sessha me!"  
  
You poke back. She pokes again. You both get weird looks from other students as you poke each other down the hallway. You stop poking long enough to get to your lockers and start opening them.  
  
"Oro?" you say suddenly.  
  
"What?" Kaoru-look-alike asks, looking over.  
  
"Sessha can't open the locker," you explain, trying the combination again.  
  
She rolls her eyes. "You forgot your combination."  
  
"No," you protest, but she's already over trying to open your locker for you. She pulls and grunts and curses, but nothing gets the locker to open. "Didn't sessha tell you?" you ask with a sigh.  
  
"Shut up," she mutters.  
  
"I can help you, Battousai," says a male voice.   
  
You turn. "Sano!" A young man with short brown hair, a red band around his forehead, and a white jacket approaches. "The locker won't open, de gozaru ka."  
  
"Let me." He clenches one hand into a fist and pounds the locker. The echo sounds throughout the hallway. A few students look up curiously, but the rest of them ignore it as an ordinary occurrence. The locker swings open, suddenly willing to obey you. "There you go."  
  
You grin and kiss your boyfriend. "Arigatou, Sano," you say.   
  
"Anytime, Kenshin." He grins. "So Amie-"  
  
"Kenshin, Kenshin!" you demand, stamping a foot.  
  
"Right, Kenshin, sorry. Did you perfect the History-style last night?"  
  
"No, it was too hard. Sessha is afraid the studying was in vain," you say, and hang your head. Sano gives you a sympathetic look and gives you a little hug.   
  
"Well, don't 'sessha' yourself too hard. I'm sure you'll do fine. Look, I gotta go. Don't wander off without my permission, Kenshin." Sano gives you the thumbs up and walks away.  
  
Kaoru sighs. "Kawaii."  
  
You look at the clock. "ORO! Five minutes to class! Sessha must hurry, de gozaru yo!"  
  
"Go ahead, Kenshin," Kaoru says. "Good luck on the History-style. I'm sure you can do it."  
  
"Hey, it's ugly!" shouts a voice down the hallway. Again, a few new students peer curiously, while the others ignore it.  
  
"WHO CALLED ME UGLY?!" Kaoru rolls up some papers and starts racing down the hallway after a boy with a yellow shirt and green pants. "YAHIKO, GET BACK HERE!"  
  
You watch them go, raising an eyebrow. "Oro...?" Then you head to class.  
  
First class is language, and since I don't know what language the reader is taking, I'll stick with German. So you trudge into German class just as the bell rings, and you sit in your usual spot in the front of the class. You are mostly ignored by the class, though from time to time they give you weird looks. But such is expected for the Battousai.  
  
Your German teacher is used to your looks now and says, "Guten Morgen." Everyone mumbles some sort of response that's more or less coherent. "We shall begin today by learning a few of Germany's kindergarten songs."  
  
You blink and look up as he turns on the overhead with a song on it.  
  
You are forced to sing the song, along with the rest of the class, and repeatedly. If sweat drops existed, you'd probably have one on your head. After every song you add a plaintive, "Oro?" Because you find it appropriate to the occasion.   
  
Finally, class returns to normal and your language teacher teaches you what you usually learn- vocabulary and all that stuff. Then, the class is dismissed.  
  
You run into Yahiko during break. "Hey Kenshin!" he demands, posing with a backpack. "When're you going to teach me the Hiten Mitsurugi?"  
  
"I don't plan to teach that to anyone, that I do not," you reply. "Besides, aren't you learning to protect people, that is?"  
  
Yahiko sighs. "But it's so boring! The ugly lady's not teaching me anything new. How am I going to protect people if I don't learn different kinds of attacks and stuff?"  
  
"That is learned, de gozaru yo," you answer, walking towards your next class. He falls in next to you. "As you well know."  
  
"Demo..."  
  
"She will teach you new things soon. I am certain." You smile at him. "Now I must get to class, de gozaru yo. You should too."  
  
"Whatever." He runs off.  
  
Next class is science. Let's say chemistry. Your teacher is ticked that you are wearing sandals- AGAIN- and demands that you put on some shoes. You sigh, and pull them out of your backpack, looking mournfully at your sandals.  
  
"Only for a half hour today," whispers a girl to your left.  
  
"A half hour only, de gozaru yo," you whisper to your sandals, and put them in your backpack. Then you put the tennis shoes on and grimace. "These do not work with the Battousai, that they do not."  
  
Your teacher rolls his eyes. "Right. We'll have a lab today just practicing your measuring since it was all so abysmal last class."  
  
Everyone files to the back of the classroom to practice the lab. You are told sternly that yes, you do have to wear the apron and goggles.  
  
"Demo... it is water," you say to one of your classmates. He only gives you a weird look.  
  
"Didn't you wear that outfit yesterday?" he asks. "And the day before, and the day before that?"  
  
"Sessha always cleans clothing before wearing it," you say defensively. Then, "I just like this outfit, de gozaru yo."  
  
"Right..." He avoids eye contact and continues working.  
  
Somehow, you get through chemistry class without scaring too many people with your way of talking, and you don't spill too many things. You slip back into your sandals in obvious relief. Your teacher rolls his eyes again.  
  
Time for your third class. You head down the hallway, and run into Sano.  
  
"Sano!" you exclaim. "We cross paths often, that we do."  
  
He nods. "I have to make sure you're still around, Kenshin," he tells me. Then he grins. "My teacher thinks I'm a nutcase."  
  
You grin back. "Mine too."  
  
"See you later."  
  
"That I will."  
  
You part and continue for your class. Now, let's go into History class.  
  
You go through the same ritual as before. People are friendly but wary of you and your way of talking and dressing. Your teacher gives you one look, sighs, and walks to the front of the class as the bell rings.  
  
"It's time for your test. Hopefully you studied. Let's begin."  
  
You realize to your relief that the History-style for today is easier than you thought it would be, and go to as well as you can. When you complete the test, you turn it in with the others and start going over the test in your mind.  
  
"I think I got it, de gozaru na," you mutter. People give you weird looks.  
  
Your teacher doesn't tell you how everyone did, but apparently no one did too badly because she looks pleased.   
  
Finally, after History and your fourth period, you can go to lunch. You meet up with Kaoru and Sano in the halls.  
  
"Too bad Yahiko doesn't have our lunch," Kaoru sighs. "I would love to get my hands on him."  
  
"Why, Kaoru-dono!" you exclaim in mock shock.  
  
"Ohohohohohoho!"  
  
Kaoru winces. "Hello, Megumi-san."  
  
A girl with long black hair and a blue outfit grins. "Hello, everyone. Finally we have lunch!"  
  
You enjoy lunch together, though sometimes you have to stop Megumi from making moves on Sano. It was all just an act, but still... You give Megumi a stern look at one point, and then return to eating.  
  
"Ooh, Dear Ken's mad," she teases. "I love your gold eyes! Show me your gold eyes, Ken!"  
  
"It's KENSHIN," Kaoru declares, standing for emphasis. A couple people look up at the outburst.  
  
"What's going on at that table?" asks a new kid.  
  
"Weirdoes. They're obsessed. Don't worry about it."  
  
"Oh... OK."   
  
Life goes on. You finish lunch for once without getting hit in the head OR the face by any flying silverware or plates, and you actually manage to eat using chopsticks (you brought them in to school yourself).   
  
Fifth period is English. You have to write an essay on something. You slide into the seat and you stare at the paper.  
  
"But sessha isn't English," you complain to a kid nearby you.  
  
"Who's sessha?" the kid asks, a little confused.  
  
"Sessha!" you point to yourself.  
  
"Oh, hi Sessha, I'm Mark."  
  
"Sessha is Japanese," you continue.  
  
"You look English to me," Mark observes.  
  
"HENTAI!"  
  
"AMIE!" the teacher suddenly snaps. You blink and stop. "Will you let the class work?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am..." But you mutter, "Hentai." The kid looks more confused than ever.  
  
You look hopelessly at the paper. Then you get a good idea and grin.  
  
"A sword is a weapon. Swordsmanship is learning how to use that weapon, usually to kill," you write. "Kaoru-dono's ideals are truly only play-talk that innocents use when talking about swords. But I prefer the peaceful sword that protects to today's swords, that I do."  
  
When you finish, you sit back for a moment, then you sign, "Himura Kenshin." She'd know who you were.  
  
Sixth period is rather boring and normal, and finally you get to PE. You walk into the gym and look around for a moment.   
  
The PE teacher gives you a long, hard look. "Amie, go get your PE uniform on. I know you have it, because I saw you put it in your locker yesterday."  
  
"Demo, sessha doesn't wear SHORTS and T-SHIRTS," you declare.  
  
"You do or you'll fail the class. Go get dressed."  
  
You sigh. "No one understands sessha," you complain to no one in particular, then go in to get change.  
  
Once again, you give your sandals a mournful farewell. "If only I had my sword," you whisper, "and able to wear my sandals. Then I would show these people how well I am at training!"  
  
Actually, you're rather abysmal at PE. You suck at running, and you don't really do well in games requiring coordination skills. But since you're Kenshin, you can do anything.   
  
In this class, you have Yahiko. He gives you a thumbs up, and you nod.  
  
"Today we're going to play baseball," the PE teacher announces. A number of the students cheer. "I'll let you choose the teams this time, and maybe next time if you do well. Don't just pick people because they're your friends, pick a good group," she warns.   
  
Everyone ignores her and picks all their friends anyway. You and Yahiko end up on opposite teams, the last two to be picked.   
  
They feared the Battousai...  
  
You assure the captain, "Don't worry, sessha hasn't killed anyone in years, de gozaru yo." The kid gives you a disturbed look and edges away from you.  
  
Your team is first to bat, and some random girl we really don't care about is first up to bat. She is just as bad at coordination as you are, and misses by a mile each time the ball's thrown at her. She grins when she nearly hits you on the head, joking, "I almost hit something today!"  
  
You answer, "It is not safe swinging a weapon, de gozaru yo. Even a sword to protect people."  
  
She gives you a confused look. "Eh?"  
  
You pick up the bat and prepare to swing it. "If only I had the sheath to use in case I miss the first time," you mutter longingly. Everyone around you gives you disturbed or annoyed looks.  
  
"Whatever," the pitcher says, and throws the first ball at you.  
  
You shout one of Kenshin's attacks (I don't remember how to spell them, so I don't dare try ^_^) and miss horribly. A couple students snicker. You get back into batting stance, willing your eyes to turn gold.   
  
"If only I had gold contacts, de gozaru yo," you mutter.  
  
This time everyone ignores you.  
  
But by some stroke of luck, you manage to hit the ball. You gasp in shock, and stare as it sails straight up in the air-  
  
-And falls about two feet in front of you.  
  
Everyone pauses, then the opposite team starts racing at you. Your team's screaming for you to run, and you do so. At first you get confused and start running to third base, but then you get oriented and go to first base. Meanwhile the opposite team is fighting over who gets to pick up the ball. Yahiko is sitting out in the outfield, whistling a tune or two as he stares up at the clouds.  
  
You stop at first base, and your team screams at you to keep going- the other team has settled down to vote for who's going to pick up the ball. So far, the captain and a cheerleader are tied, and the others are losing. Anyway, after much panting and struggling, you make it to second base. Yahiko is pretending to beat someone up, still in his own little world in outfield.  
  
Finally, the opposite team has chosen the cheerleader because she's cuter than the captain and the cheerleader starts to reach for the ball and then stops. She makes a face. "Like, it's got dirt all over it!" she states, and the opposite team falls over. They get up and start re-voting. Yahiko is taking a nap.  
  
You start walking towards third base, strolling while your team cheers you on. The captain and some nerd guy are tied now, since the cheerleaders have all voted themselves out of it due to the dirt and effort involved. The nerd wins. The captain looks really peeved at losing twice while the nerd picks the ball up and holds it up for everyone to see. Then he pulls out a magnifying glass to look at it closely.   
  
"THROW THE BALL!" the third baseman is screaming.  
  
The nerd nods, throws-  
  
-And the ball hits the ground about ten feet away from the third base.  
  
Everyone falls over, and you keep walking. Yahiko is now counting the blades of grass in his immediate area.   
  
Finally, you're almost to the last base... you feel the strength to just run there, and it'll be over... "The Battousai... wins... again," you declare between your pants as you touch final base.  
  
The opposite team looks up from their voting on who will pick up the ball next and sigh. Then the pitcher picks it up and they all make their way back to their places.  
  
Your team happily cheers, then ignore you. That's all right. The Battousai, the Rurouni, never asks for praise, he always gets it in due time no matter what.  
  
The other team miraculously wins through their wonderful ways of voting, somehow, and you change back into your regular outfit with obvious relief. "I am back, that I am," you declare to your sandals. "And I shall never leave you again, de gozaru yo."  
  
The students all give you strange looks yet again. But that's okay...  
  
The bell rings. You race for the entrance of the school, and then onto the bus to get home. Oh, to hold the reverse-blade sword again...  
  
Yes, all in a day of a rurouni named Kenshin... or Amie... or whatever...  
  
~*~  
  
SPECIAL. Isn't it? Please let me know what you think. I know it's exaggerated, but I meant to do that to make it funnier. Thanks! 


End file.
